


Hoping

by Smowkie



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale Lives with the Stilinskis, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Pre-Slash, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 19:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17392703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smowkie/pseuds/Smowkie
Summary: “We have a guestroom,” Stiles said and looked up at Derek. “Will you stay with us a little? You shouldn’t-.” He looked around the loft, at the broken skylights, at the still damp concrete floors, at the spot where Boyd had died. He looked back at Derek. “Please?”“What about your dad?” Derek asked, and it was so clear he tried to be gruff, but his facade was cracking and he just looked small and so fuckingsad.“He says yes,” Stiles said. “Please, Derek. You can’t stay here.”Written for the prompt“I’m tired of getting wounds that will never heal.”





	Hoping

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmoraDelara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmoraDelara/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [充滿希望](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17509835) by [SeijiShun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeijiShun/pseuds/SeijiShun)



> AmoraDelara asked me for number 111 in the angst/horror prompt list. This one got away from me a little, I thought I'd write something like 500 words. Oops. It's a little angsty, definitely more than the other two I've posted for that list, but I don't think it's too bad. I hope you like it! ♥
> 
> ([tumblr post](http://sterekshaven.tumblr.com/post/181948244637))

Stiles wasn’t surprised when Derek looked extra miserable after the whole Jennifer/Julia debacle. He also felt like shit for throwing it in Derek’s face, but he had been too scared, too upset. It wasn’t an excuse, he knew that, and he made a promise to himself to apologize to Derek the next time he saw him.

That didn’t happen though, Derek kept away and he barely responded to texts. Stiles knew he had his sister, had just gotten her back, so he figured he’d give him some space, but then he found out from Isaac that Cora had gone back to South America alone. It took him two days to make up his mind.

 

“What are you doing here.”

Derek’s arms were crossed defensively and he was glaring at Stiles, who looked around the loft before looking at Derek.

“I came to apologize and to see how you are.”

Derek’s frown deepened, but he looked a little confused.

“Apologize?”

Stiles nodded. “I was scared, I was _terrified_ , but I shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t your fault, none of it was.” He looked Derek in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Derek just looked at him, frown in place, arms in place. “What?” he asked, and his small voice didn’t match how gruff he looked.

“I’m sorry I threw Kate and Jennifer in your face at the hospital, and I’m sorry I made it sound like it was your fault Jennifer took dad.”

“Oh.” Derek swallowed roughly, nodded a little. “You were scared, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not, but thanks,” Stiles said, smiling sadly. “How are you, though? I heard Cora left again?”

Derek’s arms lowered a little, and suddenly he didn’t look aggressive and defensive, he looked more like he was trying to hold himself together. “Yeah, she-. I’m fine, Stiles.”

“Obviously,” Stiles said. He nodded and looked around the loft again. “And you’re staying here?”

“Where else would I go?” Derek asked, and he sounded almost defiant.

“Yeah, I guess.” Stiles got his phone out and started texting while Derek stood there, glaring at him.

>> _Can Derek stay in our guestroom?_

“So, if there’s nothing else,” Derek said, just as Stiles’ dad replied.

<< _Yes._

“We have a guestroom,” Stiles said and looked up at Derek. “Will you stay with us a little? You shouldn’t-.” He looked around the loft, at the broken skylights, at the still damp concrete floors, at the spot where Boyd had died. He looked back at Derek. “Please?”

“What about your dad?” Derek asked, and it was so clear he tried to be gruff, but his facade was cracking and he just looked small and so fucking _sad_.

“He says yes,” Stiles said. “Please, Derek. You can’t stay here.”

 

The first few days Derek looked like he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He didn’t unpack anything, he constantly cleaned up after himself, it was like he didn’t want to be noticed. John pretended to be oblivious to it all, Stiles knew that he was well aware of everything, but he just smiled at Derek, put a hand on his shoulder, called him _son_ and pretended he didn’t notice Derek crumble. And Derek crumbled. After a couple of days Stiles waited until his dad had left the room, then he silently pulled Derek into a hug, and Derek _clung_ to him.

“It’s okay,” Stiles said quietly. “I’ve got you. We’ve got you, it’s okay.”

He pretended he didn’t notice the wet spot on his shoulder and Derek’s red-rimmed eyes, instead he made them tea and dragged Derek to the living room and started The Princess Bride. Then he pretended he didn’t notice Derek falling asleep with his head on Stiles’ shoulder.

Derek was easy to read, much easier to read than he probably wanted, but Stiles was glad for it. It was easy to see when he could pull Derek into a hug or when it would be unwelcome, and it was easy to see when to watch a movie as an excuse to be close. It was easy to see how he slowly relaxed, living with the Stilinskis, that he started to smile ever so softly whenever John called him son, and that he didn’t look so haunted all the time.

 

He had lived with them for almost a month when they were watching a movie one night. Derek was leaned against Stiles, who was comfortably relaxed and pretty close to dozing off.

“Thank you,” Derek said quietly, and Stiles hummed in question. “For making me leave the loft.”

“Yeah, that place was bad,” Stiles said. He rubbed a hand over his eyes to wake himself up a little. “Are you-. How are you?”

“I’m… better than I was.”

“I’m glad,” Stiles said.

They were quiet for a while, and Stiles snaked his arm out from between them so he could put it behind Derek’s shoulders. Derek let himself be jostled, and Stiles smiled as he thoughtlessly pulled him closer and pressed a kiss to his temple. He stiffened when he realized what he had done, but he wasn’t prepared for Derek to put his hands over his face and _sob_.

“I’m sorry,” Stiles said urgently. “I’m sorry, Derek, I didn’t think, I’m so sorry.”

He wanted to back away, to give Derek space, but Derek stayed and since he was more or less in Stiles’ arms, Stiles stayed too.

“It’s fine, it’s not that,” Derek said, his voice wobbly and rough.

Stiles rubbed his shoulder, held him a little tighter. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Wiping his eyes, Derek sighed before letting his hands drop to his lap. “I’m tired of getting wounds that will never heal,” he said, and he sounded so resigned.

“You will heal, eventually,” Stiles said. “We’ll make sure of it, okay?”

Derek huffed out a breath and leaned his head back against the couch, effectively trapping Stiles’ arm behind his neck.

”How-.” He turned his head to look at Stiles, only to frown and look at something behind Stiles. ”I can’t trust myself with relationships.”

Stiles could see how that could be a problem for Derek, so he nodded. ”Yeah. I mean, it’s not your fault, but I get it.”

Derek nodded and looked at the TV again, at the movie Stiles had forgotten they were watching. He halfheartedly watched the rest of it, but his mind was on Derek, on how to help him. When the movie was over he had the beginning of a plan formed, and gently woke Derek up so they could go to bed.

 

Finding a therapist that was in the know turned out to be _ridiculously_ easy, and the next evening Stiles gave Derek a note with a phone number written on it. Derek frowned as he accepted the note and he looked almost scared when he looked at Stiles.

”What’s this?”

”A therapist, a werewolf, in Beacon Valley. He’s well recommended, and I’ve booked an appointment for me already, figured it could be good to talk… a lot of shit through.”

Derek nodded, then his jaw worked a moment before he swallowed roughly and nodded again. ”Yeah, probably.”

He went to his room after that, and when Stiles didn’t see him for the rest of the night he hoped he hadn’t overstepped too badly.

He was glad to realize he hadn’t when Derek about a week later quietly mentioned he had an appointment that day. Other than that he didn’t talk about it, but Stiles didn’t really want to talk about his own therapy either, so he got it, and neither he nor John pushed it.

While Stiles mostly had booked an appointment for himself for Derek’s sake he was glad he had. It was good to talk to the therapist, and after just a few sessions Stiles felt himself breathe a little easier. Some days he felt very fragile after therapy though, the tiniest things would have him tear up. Stiles spent some of those days alone in his room, where he could cry in peace, but some of them he _needed_ to be with his dad and Derek, needed to know they were there and alive. Derek quietly accepted his hugs those days and never mentioned any tears, just held Stiles when he needed it.

 

After dinner one of Derek’s therapy days he started to leave the kitchen, only to pause and turn to Stiles and John. He looked small and fragile as he swallowed roughly, not looking at either of them.

“Are-. Is it okay that I’m still staying here?” he asked quietly. “I could-.”

“It’s fine, Derek,” John interrupted softly. “I, for one, am glad to have you here, and I know I sleep better knowing you are.”

Derek looked at Stiles, who smiled. “Me too,” he said. “I like having you around.”

Derek smiled, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it smile, and nodded. “Thank you. That’s-. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it, son,” John said and squeezed Derek’s shoulder.

When he had left the room Derek cleared his throat. “Want to watch a movie?”

Stiles beamed at him. “Yeah, sure.”

He was fairly sure Derek was well aware of how much Stiles loved watching movies as a poor excuse to cuddle on the couch, but Derek seemed to like it pretty much too, so Stiles didn’t really care.

They were more than halfway through the movie when Derek leaned his head back against the couch. He was looking at the ceiling when he spoke softly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever fully trust myself in a relationship,” he said. “Dr. Allen says I’ll get there though.”

“I hope so,” Stiles said.

Derek took Stiles’ hand in his, and he looked at him as he slowly brought it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss to it. “I do, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated =) ♥


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